We are less connected than ever before. Harvard professor Robert Putnam has spent decades studying “social capital,” which is a fancy term for the strength of our relationships and connections. He has found that every generation for the last century is more weakly connected - has less social capital - than the one before.
This is important, because at our core, human beings are pack animals; we have a fundamental need for a sense of belonging. The more social capital we have, the happier and more secure we feel. And, of course, the opposite is true. It’s no coincidence that rates of depression and anxiety have skyrocketed as our social capital has plummeted.
According to Putnam, the decline in social capital can be tied to one thing: technology. From the emergence of television on through to the internet, the more we interact with technology - even technology that’s intended to connect us - the less we actually relate as human beings.
One of the problems with technology is that it “mediates” - that is, it comes between - us and other people. Scrolling through social media, for example, creates a false sense of connection with the people whose posts we view. Deep down, we know this illusion of connectedness isn’t real, and research has shown that time spent on social media is closely associated with feelings of loneliness, isolation and depression.
Used appropriately, technology can indeed connect us (the idea of making video phone calls to family was a science-fiction staple for decades, and now they’re a reality), but its default effect seems to be to disconnect us instead. Social media is engineered not only to be addictive, but to drive a wedge between us and the people closest to us by provoking arguments and jealousy. News and “infotainment” pander to our most base instincts, with the explicitly-stated intention of driving “engagement.” None of this is good for us.
As the saying goes, “the dose makes the poison.” Ideally, we would use technology to supplement our experiences and connections - to reach out to friends, to learn new skills, and to discover new ideas. But, like the indigenous people whose unfamiliarity with alcohol drove an epidemic of addiction, our brains are simply not wired to deal effectively with the level of stimulation that screen time provides. It’s not easy to stop scrolling through endless feeds of whatever it is you’re into.
That’s why, ultimately, we have to make a conscious decision to look up from our screens. By taking the time to cultivate real relationships, we can reconnect with ourselves and the people we care about, and start building a social capital nest egg that will pay dividends in health and happiness.