I have a weakness for quasi-mystical action-adventure movies. When Netflix released The Old Guard in 2020, I enjoyed its take on the classic theme of an eternal, hidden war between the forces of good and evil. It took the idea of a hidden race of immortals, which had been largely perfected by the Highlander franchise, and gave it more of a cosmic significance, which I appreciated.
So, when I saw that the excellent cast of The Old Guard had been reunited for The Old Guard 2, I was excited to see how the story continued. The trailer looked pretty good!
Well, unfortunately, the movie itself is not good. At all.
Let’s start with the script. It has some big issues: the characters started off seeming interesting, but none of them had a meaningful narrative arc; the dialogue was flat and lifeless; and the plot was full of in-story inconsistencies (such as characters that are thousands of years old finding the answer to their question in “legends” that are more recent than they are).
The lackluster script might have been salvaged by a good director, but unfortunately, The Old Guard 2 didn’t have one. Victoria Mahoney’s background as an actress and second-unit director (the person who films close-up shots of people’s hands and other details that don’t require creative decisions) clearly did not qualify her to helm a major motion picture. The pacing is abysmal: important scenes were hurried through, while a minor subplot regarding a quibble between two gay men was inexplicably drawn out and emphasized.
Mahoney’s cinematography choices were equally disjointed. Some scenes were filmed with shaky hand-held camera work that did not reinforce the emotional tone, while others were filmed with extreme telephoto lenses, also for no reason that visually supported what was happening.
Attempts at stylistic artistry also fell flat. In one scene, Charlize Theron’s character walks down a street that looks old-fashioned. About half-way through, I realized that this was supposed to indicate her traveling backward in her memories. Nothing in the filming, sound design, or acting made that clear, nor did any similar sequence occur anywhere else in the film.
The action scenes were nothing special, but they were competently done. I’m inclined to credit the editors and the extensive list of stunt and action professionals who worked on the movie for that, rather than the director.
Mahoney’s greatest crime is that she left an excellent cast rudderless. None of the actors seemed to know what to do. In the absence of meaningful guidance, Charlize Theron seems to have reverted to her Aeon Flux character from 2005, while Uma Thurman emotionlessly phoned in her part waving her Kill Bill katana. KiKi Layne is a promising young actress, but she needs more to work with than superficial girlboss posturing. Chiwetel Ejiofor and Henry Golding are inherently likable and sympathetic, but in this movie they are relegated to little more than earnestly delivering expositional dialogue.
To add insult to injury, the story doesn’t actually end. The movie draws out the first two acts of a three-act structure, and then ends on a cliffhanger with no resolution. However, since the audience has no reason to care about any of the characters or to feel emotionally invested in the narrative, it’s unlikely that anyone will be disappointed if a third Old Guard movie is never made.